Thursday, September 19, 2013

Random Topic Generator #6 - My encounter with Madhuri Dikshit

18 baras ki kunvaari kali thi ; ghoonghat mein mukhda chhupaake chali thi …

 I have never seen anyone so innocent, so pretty. Yet she was so full of life. Oh, she was so witty!

She looked at my awestruck face and asked – “Arre re are yeh kua hua??”

As she walked up to Murugan’s counter and ordered rabdi with Malpua.

She glanced at me and smiled, flashing her signature pearly whites -

And in that moment I knew, man! My future is going to be bright.

Her jhatkas were as crisp as the crunch of my paper masala dosa  -

Her moves could put to shame, those of Shakira’s on “Rabiosa

Lately, she isn’t too fond of chocolates, lime juice, ice cream and toffees -

I am going to muster all my courage and ask her out for a coffee.

I had to make a move – “Que Sera Sera, job hi ho so ho!

As a wise man once said – “When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go”


But wait. What was that sound suddenly snapping me out of my reverie?!?!

A man with crazy eyes, manic face, who looked like he’d lived a life of drudgery -

For 20 years he had been compensating the men who fought with bravery.

Now he’d had enough – he wanted to reduce the world to slavery.

20 years of doing the same rote work, maintaining a huge accounts log -

Had seemed to have done it for him. He had finally lost his cog.

“We need to get out of here. Come with me  – we need to run!!!”

“Why should I?” she said indignantly, “After all, hum aapke hain kaun?

He works at the Pay & Accounts Office, handing out Freedom Fighters’ pension.

I don’t see why someone so harmless should give you so much of tension.”

“I know he’s just a Deputy Head clerk and he is working for the Government;

But don’t judge this account book by its cover - don’t let that cloud your judgement.”

Dhak - dhak karne laga”, she said, “O mora jiyera darne laga!

She looked at me with worried eyes. She seemed to finally see the reality behind this bugger.

“Let’s get out of here”, I said, “before he begins to fire.”

I ran outside only to find that my bicycle had a punctured tyre!

“Oh no!” I exclaimed, “How will we ever get out of here?!”

Something flashed before my eyes – was is it a bird or was it a deer?

An ostrich stood before me, in all its black and white glory

I knew we had to escape; inside things were beginning to get gory.

Seeing no other option, I decided to take the plunge.

“Madhuri baby”, I said to her, “you’ll have to perform a lunge”.

Just take a deep breath before you jump - count - “Ek do teen

Little did I know that she’ll count all the way to thirteen.

Riding on the ostrich, we rode far and wide,

Leaving the crazy Deputy Head clerk 20 kilometers behind.

After riding night and day, we reached a beautiful meadow,

Before us lay a wondrous sight - an IAF Mig-29, painted yellow!

Madhuri wondered, “Ispe yeh kisne - peela rang daala?”

Shukar hai us clerk ne hume nahi maar daala

I was so happy, I wanted to break into a Bhangra.

But Madhuri had to travel – Punjab se leke Dilli via Agra.

At this sudden departure, my heart was filled with pain.

“Madhuri”, I asked her, “where will we meet again?”

“Where else?” she said with a twinkle in her eye, “Chane ke khet mein,

She gave me naughty smile, as I watched her walk away. 

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